Last week I promised I would tell you what we can learn from the startling fact that IQ can be changed. So, here it is:
You will get what you put your attention on.
All manner of things can be controlled by simply making observations and comments in the direction of where you want them to go.
Go ahead and try this out for yourself:
First thing in the morning, find something excellent that your child is doing and point it out to him or her. You don’t have to gush, mind you… just notice it. The strangest thing invariably happens; your kids will repeat the thing that got your positive comment.
“Hey sweetie, thanks for starting in on those eggs – that will make a strong body with lots of energy today…” The next forkful of breakfast will miraculously be headed towards the mouth in the blink of an eye.
“Hurry up with breakfast or you’ll be late again like you were yesterday…” Will invariably result in a response that resembles Attila the Hun’s handling of non-compliant subordinates. Not pretty.
I recall one horrific day in a classroom where all the kids were yelling, fighting and throwing things – including each other – as I walked in.
I was taken aback almost to the point of paralysis by this scene. While contemplating the various logistics of how to acquire and distribute large quantities of nerve gas on an immediate basis, I noticed one child sitting at his desk calmly working on an assignment.
Not thinking too much about it, and more out of desperation than anything else, I quietly said something like; “Wow Johnny, I see that you are being a really good student right now.”
To my utter surprise, a couple of kids looked over at Johnny and went and sat in their desks and got out their work too.
Knowing a good thing when I saw it and having no clue what else to do, I immediately jumped on the opportunity and commented quietly and positively on the good behavior, complementing each child specifically by name.
Much more efficient than the aforementioned nerve gas, my communication about a small bit of almost accidental correctness got my horde of barbarians acting like a classroom of studious kids in about two minutes.
We have all heard of the numerous examples of classes of ghetto kids who learned advanced mathematics and got into Ivy League schools, the total druggie drop outs becoming sports stars and the physically and mentally disabled overcoming incredible environmental barriers to become successful.
We know it can be done.
With your children, it is essential that you have high expectations matched with a high level of care and compassion that they can feel. With these factors in place, and a healthy dose of the positive you are on your way to higher IQ and much better prospects for a happy future.
Lyn Demaree